A City of Lemmings
(My Very Sixteenth Newsletter)
I was just on 24th Street and Seventh Avenue and walked by a line that went around the block. I’m nosy and I asked a friendly looking woman “Is Beyonce here or something?” She pointed to the storefront; it was Crumbl. “Are they having a sale?”I asked. She laughed. I said, “How long have you been on line?” She told me, “35 minutes.”
I’ve eaten Crumbl cookies. They cost roughly five dollars apiece. They are not delicious. They aren’t even a novelty. Yes; the cookies have icing and sprinkles and glaze. But so do Dunkin Donuts, which happens to have a store just two doors down. I stared at the people on line, taking selfies with the Crumbl sign. And I stared at the customers coming out of the store (I refuse to call it a bakery), taking selfies with their pizza boxes, as though each was filled with one ginormous cookie. “I’m from out of town,” she volunteered. “I think it’s a chain,” I told her.
As I mentioned a few newsletters ago, I don’t want to yuk someone else’s yum, but this seems less like a yum moment than an instagram moment. There we were in a city filled with unique food, interesting street life, shows, and museums– we were steps away from the High Line for goodness sake, and she was using her tourist hours on a cookie she could order on Amazon.
I feel bad for the mom and pop bakeries that have lost out to this place because their products aren’t photogenic. (I can tell you, it was no fun in 8th grade, walking through Central Park with two of my besties, only to be stopped by a talent scout from the Ford Modeling agency who gave both of THEM her card.) But I also feel bad for consumers because we are losing out on the truly tasty. I’d also like to add that the spelling of Crumbl is irritating.
Distractions
Snacks
If you are genetically predisposed to liking cilantro and enjoy spice, head over to Trader Joe’s and stock up on their Zhough. It’s like a Middle Eastern chimichurri. Don’t tell my Argentine husband, but I prefer it. I put it in everything: eggs, meat, fish, vegetables, and I sometimes eat it out of the container as if it’s soup.
TV
I hate science fiction and I hate outer space but I love For All Mankind, an Apple TV series which asks what if the USSR had landed on the moon before the US. Yes, the first episode is incredibly boring but stick with it.
Movie
Bad Education is the gripping, mostly-true story about a plucky high school student who uncovers and reports that her very likeable school superintendent (Hugh Jackman) and his assistant (Allison Janney) have embezzled hundreds of thousands from the school district. It’s very satisfying.
Book
I rarely read non fiction, but Hidden Valley Road reads like a novel. Robert Kolker chronicles the horrors of the Galvin Family’s experience with schizophrenia. The couple had 12 kids over the course of about twenty years and 6 of them were diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s heart wrenching and fascinating at the same time.
Something I Learned
The man who invented the Pringle, Frederick Baur, was cremated and his ashes were buried in a Pringles can.
Things
Kyle and I have resumed our very popular podcast: Shut Up Mommy’s Talking. I come clean on why I took a hiatus. It’s all very embarrassing. Please subscribe to it if you like the episode. We get great guests.