You’re Gonna Be Angry After You Read This
(My Very Twelfth Newsletter)
In My Very Sixth Newsletter, I recounted a decision I made some time ago to back away from a film role I thought was offensive. Some of you emailed me words of congratulations for doing the right thing, but doing the right thing is often a privilege.
When I was a second year law student ( yes I was a lawyer for a brief period), I took an elective seminar that I was really excited about.The professor was dynamic, the reading was interesting and the class small. I worked especially hard on a final paper, based on a theory I had drummed up during the class. It was a history paper, really, and as an undergraduate history major, I was accustomed to making up theories and then embarking on a scavenger hunt for evidence that would support them. I loved writing the paper, and I got an A plus. As we headed off for our summer break, the professor took me aside and told me she wanted us to co-write a law review article together based on my paper. This is a huge deal for a law student. I told her of course and said I’d be happy to work on it over the summer to counter-balance my boring law firm job. She said sure and asked me to give her my floppy disk so she could get a head start. This was all so exciting.
I didn’t hear from the professor over the summer. Email wasn’t a thing. And it would have been weird for her to call me or drop a letter in the mail. As soon as I got back to school I went to her office and asked if she was still interested in collaborating on the article. She was in a hurry but handed me a thick stack of papers held together with an office strength staple. I glanced at it. It was my paper with some blank pages affixed at the end. And when I thumbed through it, I saw the professor had copyrighted it under her name. I was numb.
Was this what people did? I wondered. The paper was word for word my paper, presumably the blank spaces were there for her to expand upon, but still. Friends recommended that I consult with a professor who had seemingly unassailable ethics. He reminded us all of the John Houseman character from The Paper Chase and he spoke with a fake English accent –think Winchester from M*A*S*H.
We met a couple of times, and he wouldn't criticize his colleague. Instead, he cautioned me that she was a law professor with a perfect record who might do anything to fight for her job and that I was a law student with no record. I had no evidence that she’d stolen my paper; I’d given her the disk.
I said nothing. I did find out that there was a group of ten or so other students who’d had this experience with her, and we all agreed to say nothing.
I don’t know if I regret my decision. It could have gotten ugly, and as my John Houseman guy put it, I was just starting out. It’s very hard to do the right thing.
Distractions
Snacks
I can’t believe I have waited this long to admit my obsession with Trader Joe’s Pappadums. I feel less guilty about eating these yummy chips because they are made with lentils and chickpeas rather than corn or potatoes. I love pairing them with chutney or zhug but if you are the sort of person who likes hummus, go to town.
TV
Enlightened may not be a perfect show but it has its moments of genius. I’ve always loved Laura Dern and she is spectacular in it, but my attention was also drawn to her socially awkward co-worker Tyler, whose face is nothing short of fantastic. When I looked him up, I was excited to learn that Tyler is played by Mike White. Yes, that Mike White, The White Lotus brain. He’s also the Enlightened brain too.
Movies
I really enjoyed A Grand Romantic Gesture on Amazon Prime. I’m completely unfamiliar with any of the actors, but they are all terrific. It’s an especially good choice for married people over forty. Caution: it’s a comedy but can be agonizing.
Books
You are going to think I liked Good Material by Dolly Alderton because it’s about a stand up comic, but that fact is so beside the point in this funny and sometimes touching tale about a 35 year old guy who has just been dumped.
Something I Learned
The Gilligans Island theme song, which may be the most information packed theme song in television history, listed some of the cast members in its original iteration. The song lists Gilligan, the Skipper too, the Millionaire and his Wife, and the Movie star. It leaves out the Professor and Mary Ann by name and simply refers to them as “the rest.” By the way, the rest imples far more than two other castaways. Bob Denver, who played Gilligan, asked the studio to change “and the rest” to the more respectful: the Professor and Mary Ann. This makes me love Bob Denver.